Description and Dynamics
Identifying Sexual Violence
Myths and Realities
Statistics

What is sexual violence?

Sexual violence is any sexual act you were forced to do, when you did not want to.  Most often, people think of ‘rape’ when anyone mentions ‘sexual assault’ or ‘sexual violence’; however, sexual violence is much broader, encompassing power and control exercised by an intimate partner, by strangers,  or anyone using methods that are of a sexual nature. 

There is no “typical” type of perpetrator: they can be anyone, including an acquaintance, classmate, employer (often referred to as ‘sexual harassment in the workplace’) or family member, as well as someone who you had no previous contact with.  Most of the time, people who commit sexual violence are people that we know well and trust. All perpetrators have one thing in common: they are using sex as a method to intimidate, threaten, and control the victims.

This intimidation and control shows up in a variety of ways, such as:

• Forcing the victim to engage in sex
• Humiliating their body or sexuality
• Forcing them to watch porn
• Calling them bad words that are of sexual nature
• Harassing them on the street
• Forcing them to have sex with other people.

The public commonly associates sexual assault with rape, but all states have varying laws as to what this is legally defined as and what punishments different types of sexual assault carry. Even though a common characteristic of sexual violence is the lack of consent, the definition of this also varies in the legal system. As a result, many times, a victim is blamed for not saying no and this silences their ability to come forward.

Sexual violence can happen to anyone, of any gender,  and can occur at any point in life – from child sexual abuse to those later in life.  Sexual violence can occur in a relationship or in a marriage. Sometimes in Asian cultures, it is assumed that sex is a duty and cannot be refused, so marital rape is accepted, even if it is not seen as such. In some culture, it is sometimes assumed that sex is a duty and cannot be refused. Even if sex is viewed this way, it is still considered marital rape. 

Because talking about sex itself is taboo in many societies, the barrier to disclose sexual violence is tremendous.  Especially when a victim is made to believe either by a legal system or a culture or family member, that they are at fault for the acts, silence amongst survivors or an unwillingness to seek services is common.

Identifying Sexual Violence

Often, sexual violence is confused with only being narrow criminal definition of rape.  Popular media have also sensationalized and targeted only those where rape is perpetrated by a stranger or stalker; therefore, many in relationships with the perpetrator may not consider themselves survivors of sexual violence.   However, it is much broader than that.

Sexual violence is often used by the perpetrator in order to dominate, control, and degrade.  Depending on the relationship between the perpetrator and the victim, this can take many forms.  It is an exploitation of the sexual vulnerability of the survivor. It often encompasses a physical aspect, but there is almost always a large amount of humiliation and emotional injury that leads to a lot of emotional turmoil. 

In New York Asian Women’s Center’s anti-sexual violence program – One Again – we often see that the emotional aftermath of sexual violence leaves survivors with a disconnect between the body and the mind.  One Again works with survivors in the path to recovery in order to help regain a healthy balance between mind and body after sexual violence.

You are a survivor of sexual misconduct if you were ever:

• Touched sexually without your agreement, on any part of your body
• Forced to have intercourse
• Sexually harassed at work or somewhere else
• Made to have oral or anal sex
• Fondled over or under your clothes
• Any unwanted sexual activity without your permission

Profile of a perpetrator
Anyone can be a perpetrator of sexual violence – male or female, older or younger, a family member or a community member, or a stranger. A perpetrator of sexual violence is someone who:

• Thinks that (s)he has the right to access an individual’s body and do whatever (s)he wants to do
• Uses the individual’s vulnerability regarding sex to make them feel helpless, afraid, ashamed and/or powerless
• Uses physical or emotional methods to overpower the victim, bully them or manipulate them into sexual act(s)
• Ignores the victim’s objections to sexual advances; or does not ask for permission for sexual contact

Myths and Realities about Sexual Violence

• Myth: Sexual violence only happens to women; men cannot be victims.

Reality: Although sexual violence happens to 1 in 4 women in the US, 1 in 10 men will also suffer trauma due to sexual violence. 1 in 6 boys will have suffered sexual violence.

• Myth: If there are no marks or my clothes was still on, nothing happened.

Reality: Many abusers hurt people without leaving a mark, and they (especially in intimate partner relationships) exploit the fact that a victim will not report the assault.

• Myth: I drank alcohol, so I don’t remember the details.

Reality: Sexual violence is the fault of the perpetrator, not the victim. When one is drunk, one cannot defend themselves or say no. This IS sexual violence.

• Myth: I was not injured. I don’t need to report it.

Reality: The emotional pain of sexual violence is medically linked to long-term distress, mental and physical health for the survivors. If there is any fear of injury, STDs, or pregnancy, it is important to seek help right away. Although the choice to report is always yours, it is important to be aware of other injuries that go beyond physical harm.

• Myth: I didn’t say no, so I must have consented.

Reality: If you didn’t say yes, that means no – no matter if you were silent, if you are married, or had sex with the person before. Healthy sexual relationships are based on honesty, respect, open and two-way consent. Only yes means yes.

Prevalence of Sexual Violence:

According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), a national anti-sexual assault organization, approximately 80% of sexual violence survivors are under age 30.  Each year, there are about 293,000 victims of sexual assault.  About 68% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police.  Approximately 4 out of 5 of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim; 47% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance.

The Cycle of Sexual Violence

We know that sexual violence is happening in our communities.  However, despite knowing it is wrong, often survivors live in silence.  A number of factors can contribute towards why a survivor chooses not to disclose.  However, often those factors are associated with a feeling of shame by the survivor, or a feeling of self-blame for acts of sexual violence.  The self-blaming also deepens the emotional harm, and the silence deepens our fear and misunderstanding about what constitute sexual violence.  Often a survivor feels alone in the struggle to recovery, and it often makes it tougher to seek help.